sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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