Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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