Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
