I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
