Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
