My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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