He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
