Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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