whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
