drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
