i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
be right there i have to get my cape
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
