his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
