did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
