Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
