If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
