This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I love you. Go after that dick
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
