i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
