he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
