Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
