u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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