It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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