i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
