Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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