oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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