Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
