you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
