I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
