im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
