What did we do last night that was yellow?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think people are normalizing furries
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
