just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
