Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
