I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
