There r osticjed everywhere
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
