My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
