Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
