is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i now understand why vodka
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
