I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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