He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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