I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
