ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
