btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Welp...herpes.
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
