I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
