I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
