I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
