I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
