You can't motorboat a personality
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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