My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
