the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
