first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
