Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Found the puke drawer
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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