I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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