kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
