ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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