I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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