this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
