I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
